If it hurts – a positive view of menopause symptoms


If you’d like to explore kindness for yourself in perimenopause you are warmly welcomed to join us at

Am I Going Mad? our online retreat for perimenopause

Cover the ears of your children now; in some corners of the complementary therapy world, there is blame.

Inadvertently, well-meaning therapists and coaches can make us feel that our menopause symptoms are there because we haven’t done enough self-development work. We’re not ‘advanced’ enough to be symptom-free, and we could be if only we healed a little more, could forgive or just blooming let go! (BTW have you ever met anyone who could let go on demand?)

This is neither kind nor helpful.

It is particularly unhelpful when we are in the stormy seas of perimenopause, menopause or menstrual distress.

Messy menopause symptoms

It is this very messiness that is cooking us up into a different kind of woman, the challenges of being forced to let go of what no longer serves and rest enough to lift ourselves from depletion ARE the menopause.

The change is internal, cooking away invisibly and the process is often messy. The menopause process is a journey of transformation from one way of being to another that comes from the learning and being worked, in just the same way as the premenstruum and menstruation work you. A friend said the other day –

“I may look the same on the outside, but inside I’m a completely different woman”

We invite you then to ease up on the quest for the impossible. So often we hear the cry from women navigating perimenopause

“I want to feel like me again!”

It can be a terrifying thought, never again touching that full oestrogenic high. But we are being called to journey to that new version of ourselves. In all its messiness – how beautifully thrilling is that?

The way that we can allow, meet, accept the challenges of perimenopause and menopause, enable us to arrive in our second spring with the power. Sisters, if you feel that it’s hurting, you are on the path and that darlings is quite enough to be getting along with.

So what works?

Both of us are living the messiness and so can report on what is working for us.

Phenomena – regarding your pain as a phenomenon can help develop a relationship with what is happening, giving you a little distance to understand more and blame less.
Sharing – coming together to talk about the challenges, especially the loneliness, loss and shameful feelings bring the shadow side of the feminine out of the closet and into the light. The more we can integrate the darkness, the more powerfully we rise.
Kindness – what sort of kindness do you crave right now? What would soothe your mind and gentle your body?

Remember, there have never been so many educated, conscious women reaching menopause as there are today.

What kind of world would you like to co-create?


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